seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
Randomize
