I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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