Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Randomize