She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
