We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Randomize
