didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
