a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize
