id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Randomize
