My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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