he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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