Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
