you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
