she takes plan B like it's going out of style
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Randomize
