so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Randomize
