How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Randomize
