Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
