it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
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