no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
