I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
