i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
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