Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
she looked like the before picture.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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