Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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