D3 body, D1 cock
OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Randomize
