drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
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