All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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