it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
