Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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