so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
