I puked a lego.
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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