i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize
