yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
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Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
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She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
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