as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
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