Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
