At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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