lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
