all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Randomize
