think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
Randomize
