He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
