Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
