strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
you didnt know i had herpes?
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Randomize
