i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
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