just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
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