I'm lost and stupid without you.
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Randomize
