Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Randomize
