I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize