I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Randomize
