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Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
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