Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
These 31 Gross People Really Put The ‘Trash’ In ‘Trashed’
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
21 Bartenders That Are Definitely Winning At Their Jobs
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH