Texts From Last Night

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  (269): View more from Michigan

  Pants 0. Shit 1.

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  (269): Pants 0. Shit 1. http://tfl.nu/y752
  Replies (8) Good night (887) Bad night (3283)
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  (561): View more from Florida

  As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother

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  (561): As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother http://tfl.nu/1acl
  Replies (21) Good night (2209) Bad night (545)
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  (954): View more from Florida

  My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.

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  (954): My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet. http://tfl.nu/5qcs
  Replies (48) Good night (1056) Bad night (2833)
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  (604): View more from British Columbia

  What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.

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  (604): What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners. http://tfl.nu/ayy8
  Replies (58) Good night (720) Bad night (3781)
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  (520): View more from Arizona

  I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.

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  (520): I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless. http://tfl.nu/n39p
  Replies (36) Good night (1030) Bad night (2892)
• Favorite

  (309): View more from Illinois

  In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.

  (217): View more from Illinois

  gotta love wednesdays

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  (309): In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st. (217): gotta love wednesdays http://tfl.nu/3grc
  Replies (21) Good night (4118) Bad night (1003)
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  (415): View more from California

  is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?

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  (415): is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes? http://tfl.nu/tmmj
  Replies (7) Good night (3500) Bad night (1072)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...

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  (203): Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store... http://tfl.nu/b4g4
  Replies (4) Good night (2050) Bad night (798)
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  (779): View more from Illinois

  Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.

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  (779): Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge. http://tfl.nu/lg3i
  Replies (6) Good night (1190) Bad night (1550)
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  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god

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  (814): When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god http://tfl.nu/yzjp
  Replies (3) Good night (1758) Bad night (663)
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  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.

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  (832): you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom. http://tfl.nu/gkpj
  Replies (7) Good night (921) Bad night (2668)
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  (518): View more from New York

  I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.

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  (518): I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures. http://tfl.nu/io2e
  Replies (3) Good night (1638) Bad night (428)
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  (785): View more from Kansas

  WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS

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  (785): WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS http://tfl.nu/bm5y
  Replies (5) Good night (2247) Bad night (486)
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  (320): View more from Minnesota

  he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.

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  (320): he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please. http://tfl.nu/ca04
  Replies (9) Good night (432) Bad night (856)
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club

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  (402): Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club http://tfl.nu/zpvq
  Replies (1) Good night (240) Bad night (360)

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