Texts From Last Night

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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans

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  (203): maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans http://tfl.nu/l2qt
  Replies (36) Good night (827) Bad night (2084)
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  (409): View more from Texas

  Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.

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  (409): Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever. http://tfl.nu/fjfv
  Replies (12) Good night (1019) Bad night (4196)
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  (562): View more from California

  or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.

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  (562): or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her. http://tfl.nu/io8a
  Replies (3) Good night (1933) Bad night (1331)
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.

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  (443): she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates. http://tfl.nu/n2n2
  Replies (5) Good night (2410) Bad night (1052)
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  (540): View more from Virginia

  The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?

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  (540): The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad? http://tfl.nu/48x6
  Replies (21) Good night (1210) Bad night (4802)
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  (626): View more from California

  Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.

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  (626): Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here. http://tfl.nu/81th
  Replies (3) Good night (2112) Bad night (794)
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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.

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  (508): I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right. http://tfl.nu/agio
  Replies (5) Good night (1655) Bad night (847)
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  (406): View more from Montana

  He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.

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  (406): He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell. http://tfl.nu/7ioa
  Replies (11) Good night (1365) Bad night (925)
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  (585): View more from New York

  Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.

  (1-585): View more from New York

  How high are you?

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  (585): Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies. (1-585): How high are you? http://tfl.nu/ixro
  Replies (6) Good night (2493) Bad night (617)
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  (763): View more from Minnesota

  She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best

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  (763): She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best http://tfl.nu/e685
  Replies (3) Good night (1103) Bad night (463)
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  (651): View more from Minnesota

  First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.

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  (651): First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos. http://tfl.nu/tzt2
  Replies (4) Good night (845) Bad night (495)
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me

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  (732): I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me http://tfl.nu/tpku
  Replies (3) Good night (1357) Bad night (666)
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  (561): View more from Florida

  You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.

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  (561): You know I love you. I just don't love your penis. http://tfl.nu/4w11
  Replies (6) Good night (476) Bad night (1238)
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  (612): View more from Minnesota

  I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.

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  (612): I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night. http://tfl.nu/84z8
  Replies (1) Good night (865) Bad night (511)
• Favorite

  (870): View more from Arkansas

  Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?

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  (870): Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet? http://tfl.nu/5euz
  Replies (1) Good night (430) Bad night (739)

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