Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (713): View more from Texas

  wait, did i just see you litter out your window??

  (281): View more from Texas

  umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (713): wait, did i just see you litter out your window?? (281): umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out. http://tfl.nu/y9ae
  Replies (35) Good night (4105) Bad night (1036)
• Favorite

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (617): So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK" http://tfl.nu/gedz
  Replies (17) Good night (5336) Bad night (814)
• Favorite

  (410): View more from Maryland

  I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (410): I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever? http://tfl.nu/67g4
  Replies (75) Good night (20930) Bad night (1158)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (303): i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas http://tfl.nu/cueg
  Replies (56) Good night (5036) Bad night (1582)
• Favorite

  (337): View more from Louisiana

  Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (337): Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning. http://tfl.nu/g9g5
  Replies (19) Good night (9166) Bad night (1292)
• Favorite

  (732): View more from New Jersey

  come over i need a lifeguard for my shower

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (732): come over i need a lifeguard for my shower http://tfl.nu/1qns
  Replies (29) Good night (9814) Bad night (1484)
• Favorite

  (818): View more from California

  Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.

  (818): View more from California

  And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (818): Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas. (818): And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you. http://tfl.nu/hyux
  Replies (14) Good night (5539) Bad night (1253)
• Favorite

  (952): View more from Minnesota

  I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (952): I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler. http://tfl.nu/21hn
  Replies (9) Good night (1917) Bad night (1140)
• Favorite

  (816): View more from Missouri

  My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (816): My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles http://tfl.nu/kz93
  Replies (21) Good night (844) Bad night (2978)
• Favorite

  (931): View more from Tennessee

  there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (931): there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood http://tfl.nu/qekx
  Replies (6) Good night (516) Bad night (2170)
• Favorite

  (970): View more from Colorado

  I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (970): I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have http://tfl.nu/0tm9
  Replies (7) Good night (1439) Bad night (375)
• Favorite

  (208): View more from Idaho

  Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (208): Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order. http://tfl.nu/2umc
  Replies (3) Good night (429) Bad night (616)
• Favorite

  (+35): View more from

  I have feelings that need drinking.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (+35): I have feelings that need drinking. http://tfl.nu/xiez
  Replies (2) Good night (777) Bad night (278)
• Favorite

  (705): View more from Ontario

  It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.

  (705): View more from Ontario

  Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (705): It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet. (705): Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go! http://tfl.nu/wqgq
  Replies (0) Good night (867) Bad night (254)
• Favorite

  (417): View more from Missouri

  People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (417): People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty. http://tfl.nu/m1l5
  Replies (2) Good night (518) Bad night (232)

Randomize