2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
there was a trapeze. enough said
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
