Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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