its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
