Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
27 Freshmen Who Really Didn’t Know What They Were Getting In To
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.