vagina is talking i cant
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
Just dont open the beer drawer.
23 Proposal Horror Stories You Won’t Believe
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
21 Dirty Secrets From Bachelor/Bachelorette Parties That Have Destroyed Marriages
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.