I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
23 Adults Confess The Irrational Fears They Had When They Were Kids
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
These 25 Women First Experienced Sexual Harassment At A Shocking Age
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship