I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of course I have a pirate flag
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
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