I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Floor bacon is actually really good
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Randomize
