Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Randomize
