tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
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