I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
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