id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Randomize
