I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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