I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
