Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Randomize
