pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
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drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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