Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
Randomize