so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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