I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
