meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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