So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Randomize
