how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
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