This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
