Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
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