Kareoke will never be a sober sport
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
I love you.
Bad choice
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
