I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
