so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
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